


What Happens in the Space Truck

by PinkPandorafrog



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Crack, F/M, and it's your otp, because then you turn around, this is why you never joke-ship something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:26:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkPandorafrog/pseuds/PinkPandorafrog
Summary: Is that MISTER TORGUE standing there in Moxxi's bar!? Gaige is pretty sure she's going to die from sheer excitement.





	

“They're not here, sugar.” Gaige registered the sultry amusement in Moxxi's voice as she entered the bar, squinting against the sudden darkness compared to the too-bright sunshine outside. “Besides, I don't think you want to be accused of favoritism.”

“IT'S NOT (bleep)ING FAVORITISM, I'M CHECKING ON ONE OF MY (bleep)ING SPONSORS WHO GOT (bleep)ING KIDNAPPED.” Okay, and Gaige knew who that _sounded_ like. A wave of excitement rose through her as she peered through the bar, trying to to make him out.

Moxxi gave a knowing chuckle and shook her head like she saw right through him. “You could check back later.”

“Mister TORGUE?” Gaige squealed. came from the doorway. She'd been “training” with Tina, and she'd been looking forward to a nice, cool drink. All thoughts of that were just gone, paling in comparison to the sight of the hulking man in front of her. “Mister Torgue FLEXINGTON?”

She moved through the bar, barely aware of her feet touching the ground, and stopped just beside him to peer up at him. Yeah, she knew exactly who he was, the dark sunglasses, the red bandana, the most impressive mustache she'd ever seen personally. They'd never met before, obviously, and this was right here was basically the highlight of her life. Like, it had been awesome when she knew he was hosting whole thing, but now he was _right fucking here_.

She was pretty sure she was going to explode from the sheer badassery.

He turned towards her, looking down into her face. At least, she assumed he was looking into her face. Not that it really matter. “THAT'S RIGHT.”

“Oh. My. GOD. You are my HUGEST hero. I studied you in school, and how you started your own company and you developed your own bullets and EVERYTHING EXPLODES!” She couldn't seem to stop grinning. She reached out a hand, hesitating for a second before touching his bicep. He immediately flexed like it was some kind of reflex or something, and she squealed again. “You're even more badass than I imagined you would be!”

He seemed a little taken aback at her, staring down at her in silence for a second. “WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?” He gestured to the cybernetic, and she swore she saw a glimmer of interest. Well, he _was_ a fellow engineer. Maybe he was interested in what she'd made? Nah, that couldn't be it. This was _Mister Torgue Flexington_.

She held it straight out in front of her so he could get a better look. “I cut it off so I could put Deathtrap in it. Wanna see?” She didn't bother waiting for a response; with a wave of her arm, Deathtrap digistructed in front of her. “He explodes people too,” she said proudly, giving her bot an affectionate pat.

Mister Torgue looked impressed. He actually _looked impressed_. “THAT'S (bleep)ING BADASS!”

Gaige was pretty sure she was going to float right up to the ceiling. He liked Deathtrap! He'd said it was badass. He was WAY more awesome than she'd previously thought, if that was even possible. “Thank you,” she breathed. Her cheeks were starting to hurt, but she couldn't stop grinning.

He looked at Deathtrap for a second, then turned his attention back to her. “WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY SPACE TRUCK?”

“Seriously?” Her eyes widened, and she was pretty sure she was going to faint or something. And she _never_ fainted. “YES!”

“Be careful with that one,” Moxxi murmured, although Gaige wasn't sure if the other woman was speaking to her or Mister Torgue.

He turned towards the door, and Gaige bounced happily along beside him. Deathtrap was going to have issues with the door, though, she she held the button on the inside of her arm to make him vanish. She could totally get a drink later. She was going to get to see the _space truck_.

He pushed open the door, holding it for her to step back out into the bright sunlight. Her eyes had _just_ adjusted, and it took a second for them to readjust to the brightness outside. But when they did, though-- “Holy SHIT!”

The “space truck” was only a truck in the loosest sense of the word. It had four wheels that Gaige was sure were just about as big as she was, a door and some windows, and that was where the resemblance to a vehicle of any kind ended.

The door swung open and a shiny chrome ladder descended. Gaige all but skipped over to it, peering up towards the door. She glanced back over her shoulder, then climbed up eagerly.

Mister Torgue seemed to be waiting until she was up, but then he came over to the ladder, too. Maybe... Maybe he was trying not to look up her skirt? No, she was going to swoon. She was going to swoon right now and fall out, and he was going to have to catch her.

She didn't, though. She moved out of the way and took a look around. It was a small carpeted room with massive seats and driving controls at one end, and a door partially obscured by a beaded curtain on the other. It was all done up in Torgue colors, the ceiling an almost dizzying black and white check.

She clapped her hands excitedly, watching him climb up the final few rungs of the ladder and pull himself inside. Yeah, Brick had nothing on Mister Torgue. His back muscles were so ripped she didn't even know. “Are...” She looked from him to the seat over by the controls and licked her lips. “Are we going into space?” she asked hopefully. It was a long shot, but it was worth asking, right? It wasn't exactly like either of them had much else going on right now.

“WHY THE (bleep) NOT?” The space truck shifted with each step as he made his way over to the driver's seat. He sat down. “MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MOWWWW!” There was a whirring noise as the ladder retracted, and then the door slammed shut.

Gaige squealed at the sick guitar solo. A sick guitar solo _right in front of her_. She didn't even care about the vault anymore, there was nothing that could get more awesome than this moment _right now_.

She drifted over to stand beside him, watching his large hands move over the controls. She could only stare out the window at they rose up off the ground. The arena grew smaller and smaller until it was just a tiny speck far below them. Pandora, too, soon fell far below them as the space truck rose into orbit.

She looked at him, biting her lip for a second in indecision. Well... She could go for it, right? She _should_ go for it. He could say so, and then she'd be no worse off than she was _right now_. “Mister Torgue?”

He swiveled the seat until he was facing her. Even sitting like that, he wasn't all that much shorter than her. “YEAH?”

“Can I sit down?”

“(bleep) YEAH!”

She sank down to sit on one broad sigh, letting out a long sigh. She was going to die. She was actually going to die.

He seemed completely surprised to see her there, his eyebrows climbing up his forehead from behind his glasses. “I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE (bleep) IS GOING ON.”

“Yeah,” Gaige breathed in agreement, staring up into his face. “Do you want me to move?” Because it might kill her, but she would totally move if he wanted her to.

“NO,” he said after a second. Then, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“Kissing your pecs.” It was entirely possible that he couldn't find a shirt to fit over all those muscles, but she really appreciated his shirtless state. She lifted her head to look up at him. “You're incredibly ripped.”

“PHYSICAL FITNESS IS IMPORTANT, YEAH!”

“Yeah it is.” She slid off his leg to stand between his knees, her lips making a hot trail down the front of his body. He waxed or something, his torso was entirely smooth. Rock-hard too. She traced the lines of his abs with her tongue.

When she got down low enough, she knelt in front of him, pulling open the front of his jeans. She glanced up at his face. “Is this okay?”

His elbow rested against the dashboard. “(bleep) YEAH!” Then a second later, “THAT'S MY (bleep).”

“Sure is,” Gaige agreed happily, suitably impressed. Okay, fuck all that other stuff she'd thought before, _this_ was the single best moment in her life. She closed her fingers around his half-hard cock, stroking until it started to harden under her touch. “Should... Should I stop?”

“NO.” He stared down at her, his free hand resting against the back of her neck. “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PANTS? ARE YOU MAG-OH (bleep)ING (bleep)!”

She drew him deep into her mouth until her lips met the circle of her fingers. She bobbed over him, slowly at first, and then faster and faster.

It wasn't long before he was rocking up into her mouth. Apparently he'd been ready to go? Whatever. His elbow slipped against the dash. “HOLY (bleep)! (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) MOTHER(bleep)ING (bleep)SOCKS!” He stiffened under her just the barest second before the tang of his come filled her mouth.

The space truck was filled with the sound of ragged breathing. A moment later, “OH (bleep) DID I TURN ON THE--” He slapped at the controls.

She sat back on her heels, smiling up at him.

“THAT WAS (bleep)ING AWESOME!”

“Yeah, it was.” She didn't even mind that she was probably going to hear about this later. Yeah, if he'd turned on the intercom, Axton was never going to let this go. 

 


End file.
